Here is a scenario that I happen to find myself in time after time. I seem to hear or dream or have a strong feeling from God that I am supposed to do something. The idea is set and there is nothing else I can think about. Time passes and nothing seems to come of the idea, or vision. No matter how hard I try to make it so, it just never seems to formulate, and I get frustrated. I pray and ask God what I am doing wrong, but then I feel that voice say that I am doing nothing wrong, just keep cool. I then start to play this waiting game that seems to boggle my mind and I start not caring anymore, start to worry and then it usually goes down hill from there. I start to not have that one on one time with God anymore and kinda give up on the original idea. Then all at once things take a change for the better and I give thanks. God pulls me from the brink of a depression and tickles me to death. 

This is nothing new for me, and I cannot seem to learn my lesson. Why God keeps coming to my rescue is beyond me. I know if it were myself or another warm blooded human being, forgiveness would go out the window the first six or seven times and I would be left to listen to Dashboard Confessional and watch Train Spotting on repeat until my brain turns to mush and I off myself. I for one am glad that God has not given up on me, because I cannot stand Dashboard Confessional.

The importance that I need to remember, is to have faith in faith. There is nothing that goes unchecked with our Father. He knows our breaking points and our highs. He knows what is best for us when we need it. The key is to keep our heads up when we seem to not be on the right path. Who knows why I am back in Arkansas, but to tell the truth, in this time I have started a relationship with a girl that would not have been structured properly otherwise, I have learned to take initiative and do something when I am in a slump (i.e. cleaning the house or mowing the yard). I learned what it takes to beat depression. I have learned that difference between glitter and gold, and the gold takes work. The things in this world that are worth anything take time+patience. 

This time things started getting bad when I could not find a job. No matter what I did, nothing was happening. I finally broke down and admitted that I cannot do anything without God, sit down and stated my case. Even though I was asking for a job, seemingly it looked like I was trying to take matters of finance into my own hands, without having faith in God. But the truth is, when I sit for too long, I start to think too hard. I explained this very plainly to God, and asked if He would get me a job. The next day, I got a call from the place where I wanted to work in the first place. Amazing. This is not the first time this has happened. It seems to happen all the time and I seem to forget it all the time. We just need to be honest and upfront and speak with conviction. And I need to learn to have faith in faith, because the the sweet aint as sweet without the sour baby, and that’s a fact.