Yup, not only the title of a great Elliot Smith song, but how I am feeling right now! I am not the needle, rather the proud person that found that damned needle, and although Mythbusters proved it nearly impossible to do, God is bigger than the pile of hay and the needle. Revelations are being seen and curses are being broken, and the needle (that should be easily found) has revealed itself. OK, OK, that “needle” that is so blatantly obvious, that is so utterly impossible to miss, that is poking you right in the nose even-and get ready for this- is the fact that God does not need our help. Yeah, thats it. God can do it. So why are we trying to help?

This ties in to the gem of truth “God helps those who help themselves.” You want to see me start fashioning a whip and kicking some ass, say that to my face! I cannot believe that people buy in to that. Anyway, this is not a blog to put those people down, they are God’s children too and deserve to be loved. Rather this is a blog about how I couldn’t by any means just put down my plow and let God takeover. 

I think this revelation came to me as I am in the market for a car and a raise. I would pray about it, and nothing was said, but I still tried to act anyway. I caught myself one day trying to finagle my way into buying a car, but that HUGE voice said, why are you not letting Me get the tab on this one. HAHA! I just kinda laughed and said touche Papa, You can totally have it. I realized even though I didn’t have any means to pay for a car right now and I knew that God had my back, that in knowing that, I had made my pants a little too small. Let me explain. I have faith in God, I have faith that He hears my prayers, I have faith He will answer. I also have faith that He loves me. Knowing all of these things has made me a little prideful, I mean gosh, who wouldn’t have a big head after hearing that the Author of the Cosmos likes you and you belong in His crew. In knowing this, I overstepped my bounds, and thought that I could do anything without God’s “go ahead run.”

I was getting comfortable knowing God had my back. Have you ever just started hanging out with someone, and didn’t know quite where the boundaries lie, and you start to get comfortable, and then you say something that offends them and then its a little awkward? Yeah, thats what it felt like with me and God. I caught myself, and I believe we had a good laugh. But it taught me to just wait, and it will come, someday. Nothing is bigger than God, nothing is more precious. Nothing is more sacred or cherished than God’s love. Or at least it shouldn’t be.

So the needle that was so plainly shown to me so many times before, so many times just given to me by someone else, was not mine until I found it myself. As is the case for any change, any revelation. The individual must realize the fact before they believe. We cannot push anything on anyone. 

P.S. Sorry for the time spent away from you-Blog!